is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
