Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
