Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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