they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize