please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
