Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize