I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
