Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
