I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
