they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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