i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
