It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
