I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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