May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I feel like abortions should bother me more
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
