I love black thongs
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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