Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
