good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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