why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
