i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
