is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
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a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The adults are the big ones right?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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