i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
