Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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