oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
