This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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