i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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