who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
