I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
