you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
