I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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