you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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