he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
two words...techno handjob
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
