she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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