So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize