Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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