i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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