He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
