I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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