They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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