everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
