Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
