I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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