so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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