She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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