You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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