I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
