is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
