my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
