he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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