Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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