Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
