he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
the liver wants what the liver wants
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
