He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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