It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
