You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
