So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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