So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Your cock deserves a montage
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
