So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
