Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
