Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
