I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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