this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
