perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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