i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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